What Were You Thinking?

This has been an interesting, though amusing, week. I’m not talking about politics, but customers and prospective employees with whom I’ve interacted. Get a load of these people! Are you dealing with them, too?

I sent two certified letters this week. One was to a customer whose home has covered damage and we want to fix it. We’ve been calling to come to make the repairs. And calling. And calling… Another was pleading with the customer to let us come perform the service for which she’s already paid! We’ve made countless calls and sent “uncertified” notes asking her to let us come out. You’ve paid us to do these things! What were you thinking?

Still another customer called, scheduled a specific time for my technician to inspect his existing home and tell him how much it would cost to treat a proposed addition. My inspector arrived at the given time, but the customer was nowhere to be found. My man inspected the covered structure, but with no information on the new part, he left his report and our phone number to call and reschedule.

Instead of calling us back out, the customer called another company, paying them to treat the addition. The other company doesn’t want to cover “our” section (the original) without being paid to treat it to their standards. We won’t cover “their” section (the addition) without being paid to treat it to our standards. (It’s against state regs for either company just to cover “their” portion on residences.) The customer is mad at me because he’s going to have to pay one of us more money. Duh! What were you thinking?

On a totally different vein, I’m trying to hire some people. One opening is to replace a service technician. Having reviewed applications, select applicants – the “cream of the crop,” so to speak – have been called to schedule interviews. I’ve had quite a few scheduled the last couple of weeks.

Understand, these are people that came to my office to complete the application or faxed me a résumé because of an ad telling who we are and what we’re looking for. I don’t try to “trick” someone into scheduling an interview! With daily news stories about climbing unemployment, why do so many of these interview times pass with no appearance of – or call from – the applicant? What were you thinking?

One Outside Sales applicant that did show up has caused me to wonder “What were you thinking?” a number of times. First, he unexpectedly showed up at the office late last Saturday morning to fill out an application, expecting to interview with me (it wasn’t my Saturday), “do” the drug screening, and be offered a job. What were you thinking? He was invited to complete the application and told I’d be “in touch.” He explained that he thought he’d be there a lot longer and the person that dropped him off wouldn’t be back for a while. (He’s applying for a role that requires dependable transportation!) What were you thinking? He sat in our lobby, waiting for the ride, instead of calling them/anybody or just leaving. But it gets better! As closing time arrived and his ride didn’t, he asked the manager if he could give him a ride. What were you thinking? Mark took him to the Waffle House, where he asked to be let out.

Midmorning Monday, I received a call from WaffleHouse asking if we could meet. Okay, that’s a good sign for a sales applicant, so I agreed. We met Tuesday morning and talked. I explained the need for transportation, and asked about Saturday’s events. He explained that his vehicle was in the dealership for some warranty work and that transportation wasn’t a problem, once he got it back. As we talked, he said he was referred by one of my most trusted employees – who was out of the country at the time – so, against gut feelings, I agreed for him to join one of our longtime salespeople in the field the next morning. (“Ride-alongs” are a way for people to see what “they’re getting into” and are a regular part of our interview process.)

The next morning he arrived and the salesperson took him on several field calls. They ended by meeting another of our salesmen for lunch. Debriefing our two salespeople, they both independently commented on smelling alcohol on the applicant’s person. What were you thinking? Guess how he got home that afternoon! “Could you just drop me off at the Waffle House?” What were you thinking?

Thursday he called me, ready to get things going! Out of curiosity, I asked about the car situation. “Oh, yeah! I’m picking it up this evening.” “Okay, so you can’t come to the office today? Fine, I’ll see you Friday morning.”

Friday morning, the GM and I were up front in his office watching for WaffleHouse’s arrival and discussing the chain of events. Though no one had driven up, a CSR buzzed that he was waiting in the lobby. What? I came out to get him and he was gone again. The ladies thought he’d gone back to the restroom, so I waited for him. When he didn’t return for quite a while, I went searching. I found him drinking a cup of coffee, reading the newspaper in the breakroom! What were you thinking?

I invited WaffleHouse to come to the GM’s office and discuss his future. Once up there, both of us could smell a faint alcohol aroma emanating from WaffleHouse – but not his breath as much as him. What were you thinking? We literally asked, “Where’d you come from?” (Both of us thinking something different, but explained that we hadn’t seen him drive up and just wondered how he’d made it in without being seen.)

WaffleHouse said he’d come in the back way (which would be against posted “One Way” signage!) We proceeded asking various questions, walking carefully through the legal minefield of HR, but definitely wanting this candidate’s interview process to conclude quickly. After only a couple a minutes he slipped a remark about “being dropped at the side.” We pressed him on the point and asked if he was still without a vehicle. WaffleHouse stammered through a quick series of illogical explanations. What were you thinking? He’d clearly shown enough stupidity and lack of character that the GM chose to shift gears in the conversation. No more tippy-toe. “Thanks for coming in. I hope you get the car thing ironed out. We won’t be able to offer you anything at this point.” He stood up and the conversation with WaffleHouse was over…finally.

Yes. It’s been an amusing week. I hope, if you’re still reading, that you’ve gotten a chuckle out of my week’s encounters. More importantly, I hope the next time you find yourself wondering “What were you thinking?” as you deal with some dolt, you’ll smile and think of me. If nothing else, the smile will make them worry! Have a great week!